I heavnt really bothered writing on here in a while, i just havnt really been writing in general. So much going on i really dont know how to feel about it. Divorce, forclosure, moving and the list goes on. I thought i had someone to care and love me through it but that turned out to be a bust. Though for all the hurt i feel and the wanting to hate him my heart would never allow it. My lifes been off and more off as the days go by. When i get home i will be alone, with only my htoughts to sit with me. I have a lot resting on me and i dont know exactly how to handle it all. once im home i have to pack, i have to do cleaning i have to prepare. While my moms off working or doing things to hopefully make ourlives better. I just feel i cant handle it. I feel so lost, i dont have anyone to anchor me here anymore. i dont have anyone to love or feel will stay beside me anymore. Why should i try and trust another person when i know they will leave in the end. Life has nor been very well to me the past few years. My parents were arguing more and more, 2 of my best friends died, for stupid reasons, and the only person i had was my boyfriend, but he left to. It hurts to think you wasted so much time building something for it to end. My heart aches for the loss of something i knew never was or could be, yes the comfort of knowing someone was there was all i wanted. Now i dont even have that. I hurt inside and out, i just wish ih ad the clearity to not feel so lost and move forward with it all.