Writings
My heart and my soul in my words.
Think
carry me away upon the wings of angels. hold me together with your arms so gentle. nothing more are dreams made of then to have you here with me. i lay so silently my head hidden beneath the darkness i see. we think so openly yet within our minds we stay dark. light so close to our reach when things go so far down, but yet we hold our selves in that darkness withinout minds. we ourselves are the only one to blame, maybe those we call crazy are the only ones who truly see the truth within our lives and our world. think like the others dont see how we should look beyond your life into some one else’s think about things happening think not if but when. listen to your heart race over something happy think about your mind racing to figure something out. think of the simplicities of life.
On the Hill 1
Staring at the opens fields she sighed a breath of relief. Alone at last she thought looking past the hills full of the flowers she only saw in her dreams. To finally reach this place so familiar yet distant to her. She smiled sitting on the top of the highest hill looking down. She looked down the hill to see the people sitting on a sheet having a pick-nick. This she had seen a million times before this one seen always in her mind. She smiled at the thought of having that family setting she saw before her, though she knew this place she was at now those people before her the flowers she dreamed of were all just a mirage, all fake, within her mind.
Her eyes opened with a flash and she lay once again on the metal table. “What now?” she asked. The year now was 4011, all people wore masks their bodies hidden beneath the protective suits. She sighed softly thinking back to her thoughts. No one knew why but she was the one who knew it all. The days before the endings of earth. She knew what it was like back before the atmosphere crashed in on itself. The earth as we knew it was no more then craters mixed within out universe. People have adapted to the so called life but she felt the pain of it so real to see what it could have been.
She pulled away from the different scientists as they muttered looking of papaers apong papers of different data. She sighed and walked out of the room her sute covering her head to toe supplying the life giving oxygen. She walked down a few halls and into a room, there in the small room lay a small boy, she smiled through the glass dome that covered her head. He smiled back, but no need for a suit. He was one of the “aliens” we called them, human in every way except one. Through the years since the destruction it effected people some became able to breath without the suit she had to wear. They were the knew generation. They are trying to find out how we could harness that, and create a new atmosphere.
“Have you any food?” the boy asked softly her eyes piercing blue never leaving her face. She nodded to him and smiled pulling a sandwich from the pocket on her suit. “For you” she said holding it out. “I must go now” she said and started out of the room the door closing behind her and then the click of the locks echoed through the halls. “We treat them like prisoners, they will be the ones to protect human life” she whispered thinking to herself.
The days muddled together with dragging agony. Every day she was tested put into the fake sleep and every day the hills and the pick-nick came to her sights. She walked through the streets and looked at the fairy, an old ship made able to float from the different isles that were Earth. She walked onto one going to the eastern sides of Earth. Moments later getting off on a small piece of rock floating through the endless atmosphere. She sighed and walked to the only house on it, hers she walked in and the cameras locked onto her and she stared at them with great distaste.
No gravity left things thrown around without a car. She pressed a button on the wall and everything fell to the floor with a thud and crash. Her feet hit and gravity lay heavy on her should. She looked at the screen to the left of the button a bar slowly going from red to orange and finally green. She unzipped the suit with a hiss as it slid off. She felt sorry for the many who didn’t have the luxuries she did.
Walking away from the living room and back to the bathroom. She stepped into a silver tub as she threw the pales of water over her. Hot yet quickly getting cold as she shivered under it. As soon as her makeshift bath started it was over. Putting on a thermal outfit she walked back to her living room, pulling a small book off the table she sit there beginning to read.
Suddenly a loud echoing boom was heard through out the different cities. She looked out the window to see the blast of red flares from the sun. She sighed thinking of the many people who probably just died because they had no were to be inside.
Her eyes closed and soon came the dreams again. “Run away” she heard the voices screaming. “Hide yourself” she heard more frantic. Her dream no longer the inviting fields and hills, now were filled with the earth breaking the lava coming from the center of the earth people falling people dieng. So much death she thought as she was seemingly above them all. The earth cracked again the plates racking the earth with every quake that hit it.
She woke with tears on her cheeks. No sooner did she have this dream then the scientists showed up. She explained her dream with every excruciating detail as they wrote word for word what happened. Soon she was alone again and with her thoughts brought the horrid realization. She was there so long ago maybe not as herself but someone, someone now dead and gone from life due to it, possibly what would have been her family.
She shook her head and looked down at her shaking hands. She would figure this out if it killed her, she told herself. With her suit on she walked out knowing the cameras were fallowing her got on the fairy and before it docked jumped into the open nothing. Moving her way to the next isle. Cameras couldn’t track her as accurately as the scientists wished old cameras told the ones she was approaching, so getting off sooner she evaded them. Soon she hit the isle with a soft thud the science labs laying before her. She would figure this out.
To Walk this Dirt Covered Road
A small girl, only the age of ten, walks along the dirt covered streets of her home town. Buildings, not so big in size, seem to tower over her small, frail body. She looked over the streets, left then right, her feet dragging on the dirt road, as she searched for food, shelter, and hope. She searched for anything that could get her by another day.
She came around a barren corner, only to find an elderly woman sitting on the ground. The woman’s eyes, unseen by the girl, were shrouded beneath a tattered old sun hat. She approached her tentatively; when she finally reached the woman she came to a startled realization. The woman had died here, her body cold and unmoving. The girl lifted the hat, only to see her grandmother’s open eyes staring back at her. Tears, hot and wet, streaked down her mud-stained face, she closed her grandmother’s eyes and said a small prayer of remembrance. She walked away, the ragged and worn hat upon her head.
She looked up to see the darkening sky, and then the so often tinge of pain filled her body. It had been three days since she had had a decent meal. She knocked on door after door, asking for shelter from the night. “Please” she heard her voice say, but for some reason it no longer felt like hers, it was as if she were looking in on her life instead of living it. Many responses she received, most unkind, vulgar and rude; though she understood the world in which she lives, inviting a stranger in was inviting death in as well.
“Please” she cried out loud, her voice filling the night air. She heard the distant rumble of cars as they drove up her dirt covered streets. Her face turned up to see the lights of white men’s cars. “Run, run, run, run!” her mind told her over, and over, unfortunately her body could not oblige; weak and fatigued she could only stand there waiting. Her body, dirty and cold finally gave out. She fell to the ground with a small thud, there was nothing left of her body, only skin and bones.
The white men rushed over to the fallen girl, the horrified looks on there faces were clear as they lifted the weightless body into the car. She was taken to a house, nothing she had ever dreamed of seeing, as she lay upon a bed of clouds. Prodding, pinching, and stinging filled her body as men came in and out of the room. They watched her as her hands glided over the soft cotton; they looked upon her in amazement as if she had actually done something. “Dead! She should be dead!,” she heard one man say, in a hushed but deep voice. Dead? She wondered the word seeming to wrap around her. “How are you feeling?” a gentle voice asked. “Feel?,” she questioned her voice soft and weak. She was not used to being asked how she felt. “I feel horrid,” she finally said after thinking it over.
Weak, she felt weak as her hand lay still beside her, but for once the pain, which usually filled her body, was not there. She smiled at the thought that she could get better here, and maybe have a life.
Many more weeks passed before she moved from her bed. Small steps at a time, her body relearned how to walk and move once more. “Your family,” she heard the same gentle voice say. “Where are they?,” he asked her. Her bright blue eyes turned to look at him, her eyes filled with a saddened look. “Family,” she said softly as if tumbling the word through her small lips. “No such thing,” she whispered.
Her mind turned back to her dead grandmother that she had seen in the dust ally. Her hands went to her head to feel the hat. When she felt only her hair she looked at the man. “My hat, my hat!” she said frantically. The man laughed, a below of a laugh, much bigger than the man himself. He pulled the tattered old hat of a dresser and handed it to her. She put it atop her head and looked back at him. “Why no family?,” he asked, curiosity inching into his so business-like tone. “You live in such a glamorous house, with so many great things” she started as her hands grazed the cotton sheets once more. “You either learn to live, or you don’t live long” she said softly, the sun hat covering her eyes. The man’s face seemed contorted, though she could not figure out if it was disgust or anger he was feeling. She closed her eyes holding back the tears; this had been her philosophy on life for many years, it seemed. “You will rest now” he said bluntly and left the room. Once more she was alone in her mind, with her thoughts and with her troubles.
She spent days sleeping, others eating, as her body slowly regained the strength it needed to do simple tasks within her life. She had lived here now over a year and a half, though her mind stilled wandered back to the dusty, dirt covered roads that were her original home. The man became her mentor, her friend, companion, and family as the time passed.
She sat down before him at the small table in the den as he pulled out small books and writing pens. He taught her to read, write and to do math. Today her assignment was to write how she felt. And so she began to write. She wrote for an hour straight as the words rolled out of her head onto the clean white paper. She finished and looked up at him. He took the paper and began to read. “Why do you want to go back?” he asked the young girl that sat beside him.
She stood and turned to face him, she looked straight into his eyes. Her crystal blue eyes betrayed her simple face with looks of anger and sorrow. “You saved me; for that I am very grateful. Though did you ever stop and think about others there, too. I knew many friends, I watched many die as I would have that night. They all haunt my dreams. You, sir, do not understand.” She whispered this last part as she waited for a response. “I will help” he said finally.
She looked back at him, a huge smile played on her lips and in her eyes. “I want to teach them, bring them food, everything we can do to help, not just one but many.” She said happily. She took out a clean piece of paper as they started listing the necessities of what they would need. The final list was 5 pages long, filled with medicines, books, school supply and food. She smiled again looking up at him and he smiled back, a plain simple smile but it made her even happier.
They drove down the small dusty dirt roads into the heart of the village. Trucks upon trucks followed the small car she was in. She saw the familiar dreary faces come from their homes. She got out of the car, and climbed into the top of one of the trucks looking around at all the people as she felt the hot sting of tears in her eyes. She would make a difference today.
“In a day of need, we are answered, after years of despair, death and famine, we are brought together. Today we will establish something new, better, and create a fresh start for everyone. Here and now we can overcome our past hardships if we stand together as one.” She paused looking at the faces of her fellow people, when a great cheer and applaud started. She smiled, tears falling down her face. She whispered to herself. “Together we will over come.”
Time To Heal
i see a world today
were faith has gone astray
were love cant be found
no one utters a sound
but people change
even though its strange
the sun comes through
the broken soul of me and you
it lightens the shadows
rolling gently over the medows
bringing life back
to lives so cold and black
a smile on a woman’s face
forgets the pain without a trace
she steps out to greet the sun
the pain slowly becoming undone
time does heal you see
even the broken hearts like you and me
High Above You
To walk out to the sun in your face
to hold the one you love
in a sweet embrace
watching the clouds drift high above
watching the winds blow swiftly
watching the butterfly
seeing the depiction of beauty
high up in the sky
holding nature to its best
flowers dazzle the ground
wrapping u in good rest
till the next day be found
You never saw
when i sit all alone
i feel totally thrown
as i sit on my bed
i talk silently in my head
can this be?
is this what i really see?
a heart that has been broken
over words unspoken
i never thought
that i would be caught
any were near
this new found fear
i think about it more and more
as i get tense and sore
if u could only feel
the pain its so unreal
so i sit and cry
feeling i will die
all over you
but you dont see what you do
i felt so upset
but now i think why fret
its done and gone
for forever long
Stand Alone
Once again we are apart, And now nothing is left inside my heart.
We fought and we screamed,In the end we said things we didn’t mean.
All these word unspoken,A bunch of promises totally broken.
Saying questions in our heads,Wondering if there will ever be an us again.
All the love I had for you,Is one thing you never knew.
Even if we are forever apart,You will always have my hear
Yew made me everything I could be,But if you only took the time to see.
All my greatest memories are with you,When you left they left to.
As we finally say goodbye,Inside I break down and cry.
Now my world is falling apart,And all I have left is a broken heart
A Rose
a rose for your trouble
a rose for my life
which goes over double
to end in strife
a rose for a victory
a rose for defeat
you sir have ur story
as i take my seat
a rose for hello
a rose for good bye
ill live in my sarrow
till the day i die





